The Three Tests of an Intentional Give

On Monday I talked about the business card graveyard. That pile of cards you collected at events, in meetings, over coffee, that led to exactly nothing.

Today I want to give you the fix, but I need to be careful with the word "fix," because most people hear it and immediately think "okay, so I just give people stuff." That's not it. Giving something is easy. Giving the right something is what separates a real referral partner from another card in the drawer.

At Live Local, I call this the Intentional Give and it's the cornerstone of the Connector Blueprint, and it's the thing that moves you from someone a person vaguely remembers to someone they actively want to get involved with.

But here's what I've learned in fifteen years of doing this: not everything you could hand someone counts as an Intentional Give. A free session, a discount code, or a pamphlet about your origin story is not a GIVES, that is a pitch. I run everything through three tests, and if it doesn't pass all three, it's not an Intentional Give, and it won't build you a referral partner.

Here's the first test:

It has to meet their pain, not yours. And this is where almost everyone gets it wrong, remember that ten percent off to use my service, let me be blunt, is not a gift, that's a sales pitch that no one is falling for. Why? Because it solves your problem, which is that you want their business, but it does nothing for the problem they actually have.

An Intentional Give solves something they're dealing with, whether or not they ever send a single referral your way. If you're a contractor, an insurance agent, a real estate agent, think about the people you want referring you. What is their painpoint, what would be the thing that their business could be more successful if it was removed? Give to that. Not to your sales quota.

Here's the second test:

It has to run on something you actually enjoy. This is the reason most people quit, there is no intrinsic motivation to persist when things get tough. If your give is something you dread, you'll do it twice, and then you'll find reasons to stop. You'll be busy, you'll get to it next week, and it'll quietly die. Don't waste your time by skipping this step.

The give has to come from something you'd happily do anyway. When it's built on what you enjoy, you don't have to force it. You keep showing up with it because it doesn't feel like a cost. That's what makes the whole thing survive past the first month.

Here's the third test:

It has to be scalable and repeatable. A one-time favor is generous, but it's not a system. If your give only works for one person, or takes a completely different effort every single time, you'll never build a pipeline out of it.

The give has to be something you can do for your tenth partner as easily as your first. Same process, same effort, different person on the receiving end....that is how a system is built.

So let me show you what this looks like in the real world.

The give I teach, and the one I use myself, is the video commercial. I sit down with a potential referral partner and I make them a professional video for their business. Something they can actually use and also creates plenty of engaging content for me as well.

Let's run it through the tests: Does it meet their pain? Yes. Most local business owners know they need video and never make it. I hand them the thing they've been putting off for two years. Does it run on something I enjoy? Absolutely. I genuinely love making these. It doesn't feel like work. Can I scale it and repeat it? Yes. The process is the same every time. Only the business in front of the camera changes.

Three for three. That's why it works.

Now here's the part I want to be clear about, you don't have to use video. Sometimes I use a podcast episode instead, featuring the partner and their business. That passes all three tests too. Let's be honest here, the format is not the point, the three tests are the point.

Your give might be something completely different than mine, it might come from a skill you have that has nothing to do with mine. That's fine, but run it through the three tests. If it meets their pain, runs on something you enjoy, and scales, you've found it.

Stop handing out cards and hoping. Start giving something that actually lands.

If you want to see how the Intentional Give fits into the whole system, the full Connector Blueprint is free at ReferralBlueprint.com.

So let me ask you this. What's one thing you could give a referral partner that meets their pain, not yours? Tell me in the comments. I read every one.