The Worst Sentence in Referral Marketing

The Worst Sentence in Referral Marketing: “If you know anyone who needs my services, send them my way.”

I’ve heard that sentence from contractors, insurance agents, and real estate agents for fifteen years. I’ve said it myself more times than I’d like to admit, especially in those early years, and I can tell you exactly how many referrals it has produced.

Close to zero.

And the true tragedy lies in the fact that it is not because the person hearing it doesn’t like you, they probably do. They nod, they smile, they say “absolutely, I’ll keep you in mind.” And they mean it for about eleven minutes...until their mind moves on to the next business task.

Here’s why it fails: first, it’s about you. Nothing in that sentence tells the other person why you’re asking them specifically; it sounds like something you say to everyone, because it is.

Second, there’s no reason attached. You’re asking someone to put their reputation on the line by recommending you, and you haven’t given them a single reason that matters beyond your own pipeline.

Third, and this is the big one, “anyone” is the hardest word in referral marketing. When you ask someone to think of anyone, their brain goes blank. Ask a friend to name a song and they freeze, ask them to name a song from their senior prom while they had their first dance with Cindy Lue, and suddenly they’re humming. A focus gives memory something to work with. 

So the sentence lands as needy, vague, and even risky. That combination is why most people stop asking altogether. They tried it, nothing happened, it felt awkward. Lesson learned, right?

But you learned the wrong lesson: asking doesn’t fail, however bad asking fails 99.9% if the time (with a luck factor of .1%).

Mindset shift time: a good ask isn’t a favor you’re begging for, instead, it’s an invitation for the other person to be the hero. People love connecting someone they care about with someone who will take care of them. You’re not taking something from them; you’re giving them a chance to look good and be a community builder. 

Alright, mind blown, so Wednesday I’m going to rebuild that sentence from scratch using the three-part ask I teach inside The Connector Blueprint. It’s simple, it doesn’t feel salesy, and it actually gets names.

Until then, think about the last time you asked for a referral. What did you actually say? Drop it in the comments, word for word. No judgment; I’ve likley used the same line myself, more than I would like to admit. 

If you want a head start, the free Connector Blueprint is waiting for you at www.ReferralBlueprint.com.