Why You, Why It Matters, Who’s Next

On Monday you and I picked apart the worst sentence in referral marketing: “If you know anyone who needs my services, send them my way.” It’s about you, it has no reason attached, and “anyone” makes people’s brains go blank.

Identfying is all well and good...today we fix it.

A good referral ask has three parts: the Why You, Why It Matters, and Who’s Next. It’s the same ask I teach inside The Connector Blueprint, and it works for contractors, insurance agents, real estate agents, or anyone who grows by word of mouth.

Starting with Why You, it is the specific reason you’re asking this person. Our default is to say something generic like, “you’re great to work with.” Instead we want to be specific, idenfity the quality or value that truly resonated, “You asked better questions than any client I had this year.” “Your business does lots of charity work and giving back to the community, which is exactly how I run my business.” Everyone loves a compliment, but only a specific one sounds sincere, whereas, a vague one sounds like a setup.

Next, Why It Matters becomes the bigger reason behind the ask. You’re not asking because your pipeline is thin, you’re asking because you’d rather grow through people in your community than through ads and cold calls. That’s a goal people want to support, it turns the request from “help me” into “help me help more people like you.” 

Finally, Who’s Next is the focus, instead of “anyone,” you name a type of person. A contractor asks, “Who do you know who’s been talking about redoing a kitchen?” A real estate agent asks, “Who do you know who’s been thinking about downsizing now that the kids are gone?” And a Live Local Marketer asks, "Who is a local business owner that could use more marketing, and we can provide value to one another?" Give their memory a target, a specific type of person, and the names show up.

Put it together and it sounds something like this. “Working on your kitchen was one of my favorite jobs this year; you knew what you wanted and you trusted us to build it. I grow my business through referrals instead of advertising because I’d rather work with neighbors who come recommended. Who do you know who’s been talking about a kitchen or bathroom project?”

And as a Live Local Marketer: The camera’s off, the interview went great, and putting away my tripod, while the owner is still buzzing about how it went. That’s the moment. "Mr. Smith, you were a natural today; the way you talked about why you opened this place is going to stick with people. I make these videos because I want our community to know the people behind the businesses they drive past every day. Who’s the business owner you send your own customers to most often? I’d love to give them the same spotlight.”

Why You is the specific compliment about their story, Why It Matters is the community mission, Who’s Next is narrow: not “anyone,” but the person they already trust enough to refer, which means the intro comes pre-warmed.

That’s it, a natrual twenty seconds. No begging, no pitch, a genuine desire to grow your business by giving back. 

One last thing, when someone gives you a name, close the loop. Remember Monday’s twist: you’re giving them the chance to be the hero, so make sure they get to feel like one.

So here’s your homework. Write your own three part ask for your business. Post your Who’s Next question in the comments, and I’ll help you sharpen it if it’s still too broad.

The full framework, including how to figure out who belongs on your A-List, is free at www.ReferralBlueprint.com.